Oct 12 2012
boxes’ need filling.
don’t know where to start,
because i lost track
of where it all began.
when did i get this bad?
only a memory remains
of what now
must go or stay.
i’m so distraught
of the decisions
that must be made.
i don’t want anymore options,
people claiming
to try and save me.
i just want
to do the right thing
and if that means
leaving my heart here
then i guess
that’s what i’m doing.
i just wanted to say
i’m sorry.
and that i wish you
the happiness
i once had,
that you’re the one
and only, in my life
the sister
i never truly had.
so, are you ready?
because i’m afraid
i’ll have to go.
i haven’t told you yet
because i don’t want you
to hurt
like i do.
every night
i cry,
i’m falling apart inside,
it’s like the old pain
but ten times worse
because this time
there is no hope
in my eyes.
i’m being ripped apart
on either side,
like a whirlpool
everyone shouting
stay.
but i can’t.
maybe.
maybe one day
it won’t be this way,
but i can’t think
anymore.
from this pain.
so here it is.
my precious,
shining girl.
the first of November
is when i’ll have
to go.