Aug 19 2012

But what’s your name?

Published by at 11:23 am under Dark Love Poems

Silently in love,
By the one that was sent from above,
Love is the greatest emotion,
I wanna kiss you in slow motion,
You dress so mysteriously,
I want you! like seriously,
But what’s your name?,
I wanna know your name,
If you don’t tell me, i I’l go insane,
And my heart will be in pain,
Cuz then I’ll cut myself in shame,
Your so fine,
I wanna make you mine,
But what’s your name?,
if you don’t tell me, I’ll cry in the darkness,
Until all I see is the dark, faint, blackness,
I love the way your black hair covers your eyes,
When I see you, my heart dies,
Cuz I know you’ll never be mine,
Now I feel like breakin’ my spine.

This post was submitted by PurpleEmoChick.

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5 responses so far

5 Responses to “But what’s your name?”

  1. anonymousson 19 Aug 2012 at 11:29 pm

    Nice poem, you definitely show a lot of potential. There were some things that needed some polishing, but they can be easily overlooked. The last line is really the only thing that throws me off. Some separation would be nice in between the lines “Cuz then I’ll cut myself in shame,” and “Your so fine,”. Some of the ideas seem to be loosely connected too. Some more details would be amazing for readers. Also, in this line “But what’s your name?,” the comma is unnecessary. Not bad though, I made these kinds of mistakes when I started writing. I can’t wait to read your next poem, just remember to learn from your mistakes.

  2. Alon Dyon 20 Aug 2012 at 9:46 am

    yah you are right. I think the poem is good but be careful before submission make sure everything is OkAY. I think once you submit it here you can’t edit it anymore. I don’t know ’cause I want to edit my poems. Please tell me what to do. Please read my poems as well I have poems waiting for approval to be published here.

  3. Alon Dyon 20 Aug 2012 at 9:48 am

    The only way I know how to edit my poems here is to submit them again.

  4. adminon 20 Aug 2012 at 2:15 pm

    you can send an email to bwl @ cluemail.com (Removing the spaces) with edits and I will have it done for you

    Thanks

  5. PurpleEmoChickon 23 Aug 2012 at 11:10 pm

    Thanks, you should know that this is the first poem i’ve ever posted.

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