Jan 19 2013
Grasping for simplicity.
Shadows’ lurk
Fragments’
of what i had thought
i had safely, left behind.
Voices’ distort
am i going insane?
Have i met my breaking point?
because i feel that way again.
My voice
To small
My hands grasp
but stay lingering
in this cold, empty air.
It’s happening again.
My world’s come crashing down.
A sword above my head;
I struggle
but do not move.
All these thoughts’
there holds no space
inside my head, no haven
to run to.
to hide.
Please just talk.
because i’m breaking down.
Crumbling,
Searching
for a place beyond the confusion.
i hold inside myself.
i fear of what cannot be found.
Although i am stunned
By terror
of what has just re-birthed
and cannot make a sound,
I must stand up tall
and face them once more
embrace these demons
and hope
i get out alive
like i once did,
Before.
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Why do you have an apostrophe behind every word ending in an s?
I like this poem, it comes over as extremely raw. Your choices of words leave the reader captivated.
Your rhyming feels chaotic to me, by which I mean that I couldn’t identify a set scheme. That only added to what you were saying, I think, allowing the reader to feel as you feel.
The ending left me stunned. It was magnificent in that it left you chilled, yet hoping and yearning for life.
I don’t know if anything I said makes sense ^_^ but I did really enjoy reading this.
Well done.