Jan 04 2011
How was I to know
I love you more than life itself with everything I have…
How was I to know to you that wouldnt be a good thing..
and in its stead for you it would seem it is quite bad…
I know I make mistakes.. and many have been made..
How was I to know you would hold them against me..
forgetting everything good…
I now know love can hurt and make you want to numb the pain any way you can
How was I to know that you would hurt me and make me so sad?
I would have done anything and instead you want nothing…
How was I to know that giving you everything I had would make
you turn and run until you had disappeared..
I know everyone thinks in time.. my heart will forget the one I really love…
How was I to know the one who I did place the trust of my heart.. would
choose to break it instead of cherish it with every breath..
I know everyone told me so.. including relatives both yours and mine… told
me to forget you and leave it all behind… Maybe I should have listened.. to
what all of them said… but stubborn fool I am I love you still and always will..
How was I to know there will never be a happy ending where I am in your arms
and we are together…
How was I to know the tears and pain hopelessness brings when you have realized that what you most want will never be…
How was I to know… you would go away forever lost to me..
How was I to know this painful throbbing in my heart will never go away..
How was I to know the dream I dreamed was impossible because you decided
it was better to give up than try…
I look to the future with pale colored eyes… wide open…
No longer with hope but instead with remorse…
I will live on and prosper.. monetarily of course…
I want no husband.. I will forget about kids…
How was I to know you were the only one I would ever want them with…
So now I live to grow and suceed… and pray you are happy wherever and whomever you are with for love I will leave you be…
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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If you even knew what you put me through, u would understand my pain, because of you I will most likely never love again, I will live in fear that they will put me through the same pain, but then I thought, without pain there isn’t any gain.
I gave you my heart and you ripped it apart, I made you my everything and u left me with nothing, trying to love again, will be hard due to the pain.
Knowing that u have turned down the only person that truly loved you keeps me alive, and one day you will wake up and realise I was a great guy.
And on that day I will wake up next to the person who knew all along. So I hope that u know all along, u were wrong.
I really loved you and I gave you my heart, and then u smiled at me when u ripped it apart. All my emotion was growing like oceans were over flowing. And when I gave u my soul, you threw it in a hole.
I once thought that it was meant to be, but u took that thought away, at the moment u left me. My love for u will always be there, but now I can live without despair.
One moment I loved u and it was gone in a blink, and I now I know that I can only think. That you and me were never meant to be, so just let me be me and let us see.
If u can be loved again, as much as I loved you, then I will have no pain, and that will get me through.
My life at that moment revolved around love, and the love at the time will be above, any love I have again, will be filled with pain.
And the best thing I can ever have in my life, will be knowing u left the best thing that ever happened in your life. COPYRIGHT (C)
made by: loving lover <3
wow that was deep and sad too.. i hope to god this is not how my heart feels because my god if he didnt know that i had to go in order to get my life straight so i didnt end up in jail.. and that he had things he needed to do as well.. then i just dont know anything anymore.. i want things to work out but who knows i sure dont when it comes to this.. if he would have said stay i would have never left.. but all he told me was go.. leave.. he didnt want me .. he had the only love he ever wanted and he never wanted to be with me or anyone.. what does one do with that? except run home and cry? try not to shrivel up and die? I love him so much but I am afraid he will always be too scared to ever let there be an us.. : / there will forever be this huge empty hole where my heart used to be.. for long ago i gave it to him a gift i dont want back.. he is my best friend.. i just wished he wanted to be with me.. instead i will live the rest of my life.. longing for him and knowing he will never want me.. why is life so complicated? why cant we just say what we mean and be happy? instead of tears of joy.. i will cry rivers of pain..
and to be honest this has scared and hurt so much i wont be back here.. i cant handle thinking he wont ever be in my life.. or has totally ruled me out.. that reply seriously made me just want to curl up and die.. cant deal with that at all.. especially not with everything stressful going on..
and lastly I am not a mind reader and if it is him.. every word was you telling me to leave.. i told you i need bluntness and i was afraid if i stayed i would continue to be inflicted with more of the same and laughed at for my pathetic weakness called love.. I did not want to leave but no one was asking me to say in fact quite the opposite.. i was constantly reminded how you couldnt wait for me to leave.. if i wore my heart on my sleeve how would that have helped when all you wanted was a friend.. you didnt want to touch me… even though i needed to hug you goodbye i felt it was better off if i left without you seeing me cry.. i would have given the world for just one word “stay”.. if that is you.. you dont know how wrong you are or how you have hurt me repeatedly and never have you said you were sorry but i forgave you anyway.. i cannot help but still feel we were meant to be.. but that is not up to me and it never was.. so yah we shall see.. i have alot of wounds that you inflicted for more oft than not while i was there not a kind word was spared.. yet i love you still.. and as i have said.. i always will.. with that.. you know how to get ahold of me if you so desire… i cant lose hope or faith even after it all… it refuses to die even though i do get hurt and say things i dont mean.. so do you..