May 03 2013
losing it
Lately iv been lost
its not like iv ever been found
But today is the day
my forgetfulness made well known its costs
You see my mind wanders in my dreams
And I don’t know what’s real and what’s not
I dream of a child escaping a molester
and I wonder if that child is me
There is a wall that blocks my memories
A wall I cant see through
Nothing of strong impact
can break through my bounderys
Yes I was bullied
But I can not remember the pain
Yes there were times I could not help but cry
And still I cannot remember the sadness that made me sullied.
and these dreams keep coming
and they scare me each time
They are of past and of future
If these dreams are true then I guess I really am succumbing
I’m afraid, I really am
its affecting my heart
I scream at my friends
When I know they love and I can’t
Disgusting is what I scream
They flinch and in retort
Ask me “what’s your problem”
I cannot help it, its as if the hate runs in my bloodstream
I may be fallling
into the darkness of my heart
Someone tell me, am I going insane?
Or is it all in my mind….
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