Oct 21 2010
No Longer Blind to the Truth
Everything is blurry now…
Visions of the future….
are becoming faded and growing quite dark..
Trust once again broken…
when it was already so fragile…
and hard thing to earn…
Fragments of it blowing away with the wind..
With every lie …
Another piece burned…
I wanted more than anything…
to believe in you and us…
Our friendship…
and yes our love…
I wanted to keep the faith alive..
There were many times in the past..
that I knew better…
I could see through the false things that were said..
Too many illogical fallacies that would come from
your very mouth…
Things that did not make sense..
Yet without any kind of substantial proof..
I let all of them slide..
Now I no longer know what to believe…
My very world is shaken..
You have said so much…
and yet now I am left wondering..
Just how much of it was true…
What were the reasons for your deceptions…
or should I really even care…
More times than not your actions…
they have spoken volumes…
How can I ever trust you…
again… when this time..
I had proof of your deception…
Do you even have a clue of what you have done…
or how hard it was for me to trust you in the first place..
Especially when I love and care for someone so much..
which ultimately gives you the power to hurt me…
more than anyone ever could..
and so many times you have…
How can I keep giving you that power…
when I no longer know if you have my best interest at heart..
I have no desire to try and sift through the
ashes of all that has been said…
So for most of it I leave it in the past buried..
Broken and quite dead..
I cannot even begin to pretend understanding…
I cannot say that it does not hurt like another knife
plunging into my back..
How can you keep doing this…
When I have always been there for you..
and never really asked you for that much..
When everyone failed you.. used you.. and crushed you..
I was always there to rush in to save the day..
Even when you did not need me I always tried to be there..
Now… because of everything that has happened..
I have started to become numb…
Is this all some kind of game that you play?
For you is it fun?
I am not stupid…
and it really hurts and makes me angry
that you would ever for one second think that I was..
Despite what is said of love.. it is neither
deaf, dumb, nor blind..
I am tired of always making excuses…
to hide and repair the pain that you cause..
I have always been there for you.. when all is said and done..
In return.. what do I get… Lies and deception…
You do not have to worry…
that this time I will push YOU away…
I have been on the edge for some time..
I guess you did not know it… realize it.. or maybe
you just didnt care..
I think it is time that I put up my guard..
Is it so much to ask that I get better treatment?
What made me out of everyone you know..
the one you would treat like garbage…
Do you know how it makes all of this seem?
We are friends right now and I get that..
and yes some day maybe something more.. but
that day is really starting to look to be farther off
than you may think..
I do not like feeling this way…
Like the only time you ever have for me..
is when you need me… and even then not for long..
Have no worries…
I will no longer text you nor call you on the phone..
I deserve better when I have always tried to treat you the best..
Maybe you do not realize how you treat me..
or once again maybe its simply that you do not care..
How can I keep giving everything and more than I have to give..
to someone who does not appreciate it…
and chooses to give nothing at all….
I want to be in your life..
no matter what name I am called..
Be it that of lover, soulmate, or friend…
However I must confess…
My guard is way up.. because I can no
longer see what is true and what is false..
I have no expectations..
If you desire to call me or ever want more..
Than that is as it always has been up to you..
If not I respect and love myself enough to know..
that it will be your loss..
I know time heals all wounds…
and maybe time will heal this…
but when you think of me…
Remember it was YOU.. not I that caused this…
(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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The length of the poem didn’t work for me, I must say. I didn’t even read the whole thing. Sorry.
:angel:
xoxo
yah i was really pissed off at the time and venting.. helped me get it out of my system i blow and i move on.. tis how i am 😛 👿
As long as it helps, that’s fine.
^_^
xoxo
Ps. I’ve read the whole thing now and it’s really good. Umm, Like I’ve already said, It was the length that bothered me but i like the poem.
:p
PPs. What does Ps stand for?
😆
xoxo
lol i have no idea.. hmm permanantly standing? promiscuously salavitating? i cant believe i forgot.. i used to know.. ugg why did i have to go and get old 😛 😉 😀
This poem, so beautiful, so exact. Not lengthy at all. Wanted to keep reading!
I love this poem, it is a bit long, but I loved every part of it. It express a deep hurt in such an amazing and vivid picture. How can people be so cruel? 🙁
This poem touches my very soul i feel and share your pain