May 22 2012

Red Paintings

Published by at 3:09 am under emo Poems

I stare intently at the blade
No, I shouldn’t … But
Sometimes I can’t help it.
Negative thoughts and feelings…
They take over my actions.
No, I can’t keep doing this
It’s a terrible last resort.
I storm off to the bathroom
I wash my face.
Then my hands, my wrists.
I cleanse my wounds and
Massage my scars.
There, now I’m relaxed…
But that doesn’t mean
I’ve found a solution to
The problem that brought
Me here in the first place!
I glance at the mirror
Tears well up again
“You ugly *****!” I yell
As I punch the other me.
She punches back too,
But harder.
I feel the glass in my flesh
The warm blood trickle
Down my longing wrists
And I can hear the evil steel
Calling my name once more
From within the other room.
Again the thoughts come
Thoughts of relief.
And before I know it…
I’m rushing to the room
Feeling its cold steel
Between my fingers
Carrying it to my bed.
I slowly pull of my bracelets
Revealing everything …
And I stare once more at
The scars that remind me
Of all my weaknesses.
I think once more of why I
Shouldn’t do it, but
It’s too late.
The steel is sliding…
Slicing through flesh.
Drawing out blood.
Pulling out tears.
But also… giving relief.
As it tears and slices..
Red marks leave something
Like a twisted painting
Upon my arms.
Mesmerized by pain,
Yet immobilized by relief
I can’t seem to take
My eyes off the picture
Which is being slowly…
Painted on my skin.
An hour passes
Eight new, deep scars upon my arm
And a beautiful,
Beautiful
Red painting
To tell the whole story.

This post was submitted by Kali Kills.

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One response so far

One Response to “Red Paintings”

  1. Maybellon 22 May 2012 at 4:33 pm

    This…. the imagery is amazing. And it’s so true too… You can’t fight the thoughts at all. That’s why you write it out. And I guess that’s what you did? Good job 🙂

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