Sep 30 2010
Shadows of my heart
Walking in shadows..
He fights his own thoughts..
Despite the hard exterior that is shown to the world..
inside he screams and suffers from so much pain..
He lets pain rule him and the decisions he makes..
Instead of embracing love when it is found..
He runs in fear..
Never trusting anyone or anything..
Change is hard for everyone..
the only real truth is you have to want to change for you not me nor anyone else..
Anyone who truly loves you will still love you regardless for both the good and the bad…
even when it is hard..
The lies the mind can tell you are often worse than the lies of others..
because people tend to do what is easier to deal with than what is really there..
I know love scares you because in the past when you thought you had it you were burned..
I had hoped by now with me this lesson you would have learned that I am and forever will be still here..
Only you can push me away…as unfortunately once again you have..
You are and always will be the only one for me.. I dont want anyone else..
Maybe one day you will open your eyes to that fact..
I know the person who hurt me so much is not who you really are and i would be lying
if i said when you left.. you didnt leave scars…
I hope one day when you are ready you will come back to me..
I will no longer push and leave it.. that if we are meant to be nothing will change that not you nor I.
I admit I was scared of being abandoned again.. and that is why i but asked if I would be alone to carry that weight..
I hope you realize while i may want kids… I only want them with you..
I never gave up truly but you have hurt me more than at times i care to admit…
I may build up walls, but can you really blame me? After all that we have been through..
I just pray one day you will care enough to tear them back down..
Because despite what you may think.. true love you have found..
Unconditional whether near or far…
I hope you find yourself and I will always wish you the best..
I have alot of healing to do emotionally and so it seems physically as well.
You will always have my heart..
I will continue my plan to grow and succeed..
I am a good woman with a generous, loving and forgiving heart..
Nothing and nobody can ever change that…
May one day you confront and learn to deal with everything you keep inside… Then maybe
you will be the partner and equal I have always dreamed was by my side..
You are not the devil.. you think you are…
No matter what you have done in the past..
Everyone deserves forgiveness both you and I..
I have and always will forgive you.. its a part of love..
Just like i will always be the angel who was sent to you from up above..
However even an angel cannot save you from yourself.. only you can do that.. as only i can do that for me..
I am always here.. never really left.. You are not and will never be alone as long as I live and breathe..
And never forget someone out in the world loves you and one day it will guide you back home..
I wanted to be kissed and caressed and despite what you think.. it was love… if not all that i wanted..
as always i tried to be what you needed.. Just like I tried my best to be strong for you..
If you knew the price I have paid your thoughts might be different.. but I will never tell..
guilt is the last thing I want you to feel…You already blame yourself too much for things beyond your control..
Till the day we meet again.. you are always in my thoughts, heart, and prayers.
Only you can decide if you want to be in my life again
what a wonderful piece of poetry :love: I wish the man I love read it to me down on his knees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This poem MUST have been written by girl Renee to me…it is so completely exactly about us right now now now…how did you do it? Incredible!!!
I just pray one day you will care enough to tear them back down
heck you amaze me. i think i now have a huge wall around me that i shall never ever let down. but being the fool that i am, there’s still a very tiny part of me hoping that someday there will be this person who would care enough to tear them down. but as of the moment i’m not counting on it.