Jul 21 2010
Surrender
Have you ever felt that feeling of being in the dark all your life,
as i lay in my bed i stare up at the ceiling, wondering why i couldn’t surrender.
How the dark gets to you no matter where you are, i try to stay in my own world..
Where its just me, no worries.
My reflection seems to get worse every minute of the day,
i have no light, nothing to lead me out of here..
Set me free send me in to reality where i know i can be normal.
So much pain i go through, how many people bring so much shame upon me.
My life has been nothing but hell, how i wanna just get out of my mind an escape for a little while..
Maybe return to this some day, when im better an not in this state of mind.
When things come upon me i cant handle the thoughts, the tears i shed, i need to feel so much pain,
how the razor just sits there calling your name, grap it in such anger.. Rage… when you put it to your
wrist you are back to where you was before these thoughts came to you.
An all you have left to rember is that scar, something that shall never go away.
The calmness you feel when you slide the sharp blade down your wrist..
three years pass an you are living in them thoughts still…
wondering why you see these people in reality, how they can keep them selves calm, handle things better.
As for i, still lay in this bed wondering how i can surrender.
I try to get away, why i live in my writings for so long..
Can i please just have one minute in reality, maybe i wont come back to my world..
Where it is always dark, the shadows creep up in every crack your heart has in it.
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