Love Poems & Poetry

Jul 14 2011

Weakling

after crawling over shards of glass
and watching my blood drip
after hiding
yes. hiding
i hid
because im a weakling
and this is useless
my futile efforts to help
are just stupid mistakes
all is well that starts well, it seems
near the end, though, i always seem to find time to fuck something up
which is nice
so. im alone
and im crying
and i just cant seem to care
because he was right to leave
and i was wrong
but im broken now
and i feel kind of shitty
this is life
u either get through it
or u die
im still waiting to see what’ll happen to me

(4 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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6 responses so far

6 Responses to “Weakling”

1. # Pielordon 14 Jul 2011 at 4:25 pm

   o.o

2. # pixieon 14 Jul 2011 at 4:44 pm

   Your comment is appreciated.

3. # Pielordon 14 Jul 2011 at 5:12 pm

   To be completely honest, I bursted out laughing when you said that.

   I’m sorry for my uninformative comment, I just didn’t know what to say after reading the poem.

   I shall elaborate then:

   The best summary of a description of the poem I can give is that I think its raw emotion. Certain elements caught my attention. I’m not positive. but I don’t believe you’ve sworn in your other poems (verify?), or at least not this much.
   I like how you twisted Shakespear’s “all’s well that ends wall” and your usage of periods (.). Also several repetitions showed other emphasis.
   Something very confusing is how the poem jumps between a sort of professional start, to random feelings and opinions – although still to do with the subject.
   Very foreboding ending and general hopeless atmosphere throughout the poem, which is the reason for my, and i’m sorry for that, rather insulting comment. I was just speechless.

4. # pixieon 14 Jul 2011 at 5:16 pm

   Uhm. Thank you very much for reading.

5. # Justaboyon 19 Jul 2011 at 4:49 pm

   I think this is really beautifully written and every time I reread it (because I’ve done that several times now) I like it better. I’m going to take part of what Pielord said, about how it changes from that professional, traditional, style into the stating of opinions. I feel like it mirrors the chaos and confusion of pain,
   I also find your hopelessness and foreboding to be tastefully done.
   Like I said, I think this is truly beautiful–in that dark way that I’m sorry you feel.

6. # pixieon 19 Jul 2011 at 5:13 pm

   Thank you so much! (It’s okay :p )

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