May 30 2013
When sugar turns sour
words have been growing less,
and the taste has become bitter.
When did you decide
that those other girls were better?
it’s been a while
since we last saw each other,
maybe two weeks or three.
how can i tell you i miss you
without upsetting the balance we’re set in-between?
i fear you may no longer want me.
not the way i want you.
so i’m trying to become something better,
better than the other girls you see.
so this is the start
of my transformation.
i’ll sort out the little things that need perfecting.
i’ll starve until i get that con-caved stomach.
the thighs that don’t touch,
i’ll get that perfect ass.
the one you want so much.
just please don’t leave,
because it’s only been a couple of weeks without you now,
and i’m already falling apart,
crying every night.
cutting again.
purging without the binge.
but i’m doing this for you.
i know you’ll have to leave,
and i have to leave eventually too,
but just stay as long as you can,
because i can’t be okay without you.