May 03 2016
Undeserving
Nothing I could ever do will ever be enough..
I guess I’m just undeserving..
Of this little emotion we call love..
For once I thought I could truly have a happy ending…
But in your mind…
You were uncompromising… never bending..
You say if it isn’t broken…
Why then should it be fixed..
Did you ever think I deserve more..
Than to simply exist..
I gave you my heart to keep for always…
Knowing deep inside you could be the one to very well rip it apart..
Did you ever realize how late at night I craved to be warmed by your touch..
To lie in your arms..
Would have meant so very much..
Instead… so alone is all I have ever felt…
Pushed to the side and told I had to wait..
I guess I was just a toy for fun and in your mind not all that great…
I was a temporary fixture…
A baseball player never called to the plate…
Someone who could be taken for granted..
After all it didn’t matter that this toy could one day break…
Never allowing yourself to absorb that everything I may have said… just might have been real..
And now I don’t know..it may be too late..
No one likes to be hurt it does not feel all that great..to always be thought of last..
If ever thought of at all..
A tool seldom used… except when you are in need…
A tool that gave you all it had..
Suddenly realizing that is all it ever would be…
Something in your life you found so insignificant..
It was used for fuel to feed your greed..
What you have never cared to take any of your precious time to realize… all I ever did..
Came straight from the heart..
I gave you everything I had unlike others in your life who only take take and take.. but I guess to you none of that mattered..
And now I lay here bleeding..
Brokenhearted…
My soul shattered…
You never gave what could be even a slight chance…
Instead you shot me through the heart with all of your calm acts of indifference…
I hope you will some day be happy with your choice…
For me…
I will never move on … the golden Nightingale forever without her voice…
You became so much to me…
Without my realizing you became vital
For me to live..
And now if your gone…
There will be nothing inside that has not died..
I will be a charitable person who has nothing left they can give..
Simply awesome….